August 8, 2014
In my last blog I told you that I would tell you about how I
met my husband. However, there were a
few things leading up to it, and it is kind of a long story… so I have been
putting it off because I really need to be in the right mood to tell it. The fact that the weather has been pretty
dreary lately doesn’t help the mood…and when the sun is out, I do not want to sit
with a laptop and tell stories. Of course,
I have things to do when the sun shines – such as doing laundry and hanging clothes
out on the line to dry… Today is a
cloudy, gray, day again. I have a pot of
pinto beans on the stove cooking, and so thought I’d go ahead and get started
on this story.
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| A more recent picture of me...I hate having | my picture taken, can you tell? |
As you may recall, I was working in a small estate planning firm. As has always been the case in the past, I had started developing friendships with some of my co-workers. I learned that one of them (Shawna) really liked to dance and that there was a country western dance club in town. We made plans to go out dancing. She was married, but her husband didn’t mind. I was really excited because I had not been country dancing in quite awhile.
Of course, I immediately saw that it was very different from
what I had been used to… For one thing, it was not dark at 9:00 p.m., so when I
stopped to get gas on the way I felt very silly in my dancing clothes and boots
- in broad daylight - in a place where country dancing was not a common thing. (That place is now a medical office
building.) Although there were some pretty good dancers there
– it was nothing like what I was used to in Santa Barbara. The club was actually pretty big – bigger than
any clubs in Santa Barbara, and the music was good… But I really missed my dancing friends. I picked out some of the best dancers and then
asked one of them to dance. That started
things up a little. Then, one really
tall drink of water came over to the table and asked me to dance. I don’t even remember his name now…it’s been
a few years… but he was pretty good at using his momentum to whirl me around
the floor, so I was happy just to be out there on the floor again.
I learned that this guy was from Kodiak, Alaska, and that his
big claim to fame was that he had been in the Alaska Men magazine. Even though he thought that was a big deal, I
really wasn’t that impressed with that…after all, I came from Santa Barbara…lol…where
there were a lot of really famous beautiful people! But he seemed nice enough, and he liked to
dance. He was only in town for a brief
time, but we went dancing several times while he was here, and he invited me to
visit him in Kodiak. That intrigued me,
since I was looking forward to seeing as much of Alaska as I could over the
coming summer. He actually bought me a
ticket (I really had no spare money for such things) and I went to Kodiak early
that Summer to visit him.
Kodiak was really a pretty cool place. We went hiking and I saw lots of places where
big grizzlies had been hibernating for the winter. He introduced me to some of his friends and
we went dancing, we went set net fishing with a friend of his (Fred was his
name, and he had actually been attacked by a bear before!), and I had a really
nice time. I went back to Anchorage with
the thought that he would come visit me again – and/or I could visit him again… I had always liked long distance
relationships, so it seemed to be a good fit.
For those of you who know me, I am not one that cares much for being
smothered…
I was pretty excited because it was Summer and a friend of
mine was coming to visit! Sharon! She was ready to escape the Tucson heat, and
I thought it would be great to explore as much of Alaska with her as our
pocketbooks would afford. Sharon is my “crazy
artist friend” from Tucson, and she knows how to get by on very little. Having her visit for the Summer was going to
really be a lot of fun. My boss had
already said I could work 4/10’s for the Summer, which meant I was going to
have 3-day weekends all Summer long. A
first for me! We were going to have so
much fun!
…and we did! On the 4th
of July we went to Talkeetna and rode the flag train. This was probably one of the most fun things
I did all summer! The flag train is like
the city busses are in other places… You
pull the cord when you want the conductor to stop the train and let you off… You stand out by the tracks in the middle of
the wilderness and the conductor stops to pick you up… This is a way that a lot of Bush Alaskans get
to town for supplies, etc. I watched the
conductor hand off eggs and butter to some of the Bush people, who in turn
handed him fresh vegetables or things they had grown in their garden or made by
hand. (“Bush” meaning they out in the middle of nowhere - off the grid, with no
town, no streets, no utility lines, no firemen, no ambulances, no stores, etc…..) I saw men getting on and off the train that
were carrying guns and/or wearing holsters just like the old western
movies. The conductor knew it was our
first trip, so he got the engineer to stop the train right on the middle of the
bridge over Hurricane Gulch. That was
scary, it was so high! And there were no
sides on the tracks, except that on one side of the train there was a narrow
ledge that I was told was used by people with their dog sleds in the winter, in
order to get across the gulch and get to town.
We had exceptional weather that day – which meant that we had a
beautiful view of Denali (the native name for Mt. McKinley, as it is known to
most people) a large part of the way. It
also happened to be very hot. It just so
happens that the 4th of July annual Mount Marathon race in Seward
was run in record heat on that same day… 98° F, if you can believe it… and in Alaska that is really hot! Even Sharon, who is from Tucson, was dying! I don’t know how hot it really was in
Talkeetna, but it felt like it was at least that hot!
We went and climbed on some small glaciers, helped some
natives on the side of the road pick willow buds, went to Hatcher Pass (near
the Independent Mine) and picked wild blueberries, made jam for the first time,
went dancing, went fishing…we had loads of fun!
Sharon wanted to see Kodiak too, so we decided to take a
4-day weekend and fly to Kodiak. We were
staying with my dancing friend (the name still escapes me), and checking Kodiak
out. During the entire time that we were
there, this guy kept telling us all about the women that were contacting him
all the time because of his spread in Alaska
Men magazine, showing me their letters and pictures, etc.. It was getting pretty weary listening to
him. At the same time, he told me that
there were two of them that were coming to visit on their vacation over the
summer. Fine with me! I wasn’t really the jealous type, and I
certainly did not think I was in a committed relationship – not even
close! Although I did think we were
working on seeing whether there was a possibility of such… However, his arrogance was really starting to
get on my nerves. I wasn’t upset because
I was jealous, I was upset because I thought he was being rude! By the end of the long (and I do mean long…)
weekend, I was really looking forward to getting home. He took us to the airport and apparently “noticed”
that I was upset. He just laughed a
little and told me not to worry or be upset – that those girls that were coming
to visit meant nothing to him – but that he just couldn’t “disappoint” them by
telling them not to come visit, or spoil their vacation plans - just because he
had met me… I couldn’t believe my
ears! I told him that I wasn’t worried
about that, but that I was upset – and that I was going to put an ad online
and/or in the paper when I got home, and that if he came to visit me I would be
more than happy to spend the entire time sharing all the letters and pictures,
etc., with him. I further told him that
if that upset him, then maybe we could have something – but if it didn’t bother
him, then we didn’t have anything… He
just looked shocked and said, “You’re one smart cookie, aren’t you?” I looked right back at him and told him, “You
don’t have to bother waiting for us to get on the plane – you can leave now!” I was so fed up with his ego!
Like I said before – the saying here is “…the odds are good,
but the goods are odd…” I was so mad
that once we got on the plane I told Sharon that I was going to do exactly what
I said I was going to do – put an ad in the paper - after all, the worse that
could happen is that I might meet some really nice guys…
I placed a personal ad in the Anchorage Daily News, which was still the norm back then, even
though people were also starting to put profiles online too. My ad went something like “My life’s motto is
that I am in constant search of the happy medium… not too beautiful, not too
ugly; not too skinny, not too fat; not too rich, not too poor… searching for
same…” I don’t recall exactly…but it
must have been good, judging by the response I got… I then had to record something about myself
that men could call in and listen to, and if they liked what they heard, they
could leave me a message about themselves with a request that I call back. It was free to put the ad in, but if you
wanted to leave a message for someone that had an ad, it cost you to do so… So,
it was free for me to do. What the heck,
right?
I waited about a week and then called to see if anyone had
left any messages. I was blown
away! There were so many messages! I wrote all the names and info down on each
one and called them, one at a time, and made dates for lunch or after work
drinks… After a couple of weeks I called
again and there were a ton more messages!
I still hadn’t made it through my first batch yet. I wrote those names and messages down too,
thinking that after I got through meeting the first batch of guys, I would
start on the second batch.
I met some really interesting and nice guys… Some seemed rather too desperate for my
taste. I met widows, divorcees, State
workers, federal employees, blue collar workers, businessmen… I met piano
players, guitar players, and one guy that needed a kidney transplant (I hate to
say it, but I think he was in a hurry to fall in love with a donor). All of them were very nice. Some (but not many) were worth a second date… One guy took me rafting on the Kenai River, I
had lots of great lunches and dinners, and all of them were absolute
gentlemen! However, I had absolutely no
chemistry with any of them.
I was starting to call some names from my second batch to
make dates, and called and got a third batch of names. In the meantime, I had a date for drinks
after work at the Captain Cook (which is a swanky hotel downtown, with a swanky
restaurant and bar called the “Crow’s Nest” at the top). This guy was supposedly an Alaskan lobbyist,
and met me at the Crow’s Nest. I thought
he would be interesting, since he had to know something about the law, so we
may have something in common there…
He had champagne chilling at the table in a big brass ice
bucket when I got there… He was pulling
out all the stops… lol… He sat there and
bragged about himself the entire time I was there – I literally couldn’t wait
to get away. I declined dinner, made my
excuses, and started to leave. He walked
me to my car – and then grabbed me and tried to lay a big old sloppy kiss on
me! I was shocked! Not that I’ve never been kissed, but none of
the guys I’d met so far had been so presumptuous, and I certainly was not
attracted to this guy at all – and didn’t think I had given him any reason to
think I was! Anyway, I got in the car as
fast as I could, to make my getaway.
Just as I got the car started I heard a little voice say, “the first one
to send you flowers is the one you’re going to fall in love with”! “No!” I thought… That is the exact kind of thing this
egomaniac would do to try to impress me – and I wasn’t having any of it! Then I heard it again… “the first one to send
you flowers is the one you’re going to fall in love with…” Well, needless to say, I thought this was
pretty weird… so I just shook my head at the whole evening and went home. I remember thinking that the summer was
nearing the end, and I was getting tired of this whole game, so I had pretty
much decided that I was just going to forget the rest of the names on my lists,
and start getting ready to hibernate for the winter.
The next morning, I went in to work, as usual. I had not been there for more than an hour
when my friend Shawna (she was really the Office Manager, although our boss had
not yet felt he could give up enough control to actually give her the title and
authority that went with it…) came into my office with a huge, beautiful
arrangement of red roses…. “No!” I
thought…actually remembering that little voice from the night before. I just knew they were from that guy…. But then I noticed that the flowers had a
real card in a big envelope…not just one of those that come from the florist –
so I opened it up. A picture fell out,
and the card read, “So now you know,” and it was signed “Jim”. Jim?
Oh! I had been talking to someone
by that name, but had not been able to find the time to meet him yet. He worked for the FAA and was getting ready
to leave for Bethel, and would be gone for 2 months, and I could not find time
to fit him into my schedule before his departure… So, I had not yet met this person – yet he
was sending me these beautiful flowers – he didn’t know what I looked like or
anything – he was just going by what I said in my recorded message and during
our couple of phone calls… and here was
a picture of him! He looked like a nice
looking guy… Hmmmm….. I was impressed.
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| Anniversary Bouquet.... |
Well, I really was tired of all the running around, and just
wanted to sit back and relax. I was
actually looking forward to settling in for another winter, and was pretty
content with things just the way they were.
I may have gone out on a few more lunch dates, etc., just to honor my
prior commitments, but I did not make any more phone calls. I just no longer had the energy, or the
desire… I hadn’t met anyone I really
liked, and I wasn’t sure I really wanted anyone else in my life right then…
I went about my work, and had completely forgotten about Jim,
as well as the rest of the guys on the list…
Then, I went in to work one morning, and another bouquet of flowers was
at my desk! I looked at the card and,
again, they were from Jim… Not roses
this time, but a very pretty Autumn bouquet, nonetheless… The card said “Seven more days to go…” Hmmm… that must mean he will be back in
Anchorage in a week. I looked up his
number and called and left a message on his phone thanking him for the flowers
and telling him to give me a call when he got home so we could meet for a drink…
He called a week later and we met at Cattlemen’s for a
drink. I walked in to the bar, and he
stood up. I recognized him from his picture…
He was tall – 6’4” (although he says 6’3”, I still believe he’s at least
6’4”)… Nice looking… So far, so good… We started talking – about anything and
everything. We even found out that we
both loved tomatoes! (What a thing to
have in common, right?) We were close in
age (he’s one year older than me), he had been divorced for 2 or 3 years, had
been married for 14+ years, had 4 kids, had a good relationship with his ex,
was taking care of his elderly mother (his father having died fairly recently,
and his mother not being able to live by herself)… We wound up talking until the bar was ready
to close, so then we sat on a bench outside and talked some more… and we have pretty much been together ever
since.
We have never had a real fight…although I feel like
strangling him at times – and I’m sure he feels the same way about me. I know I’m not easy to live with! But who is, really?
Well, I surprised myself and was able to get this done in
one sitting. Not sure what I will tell
you about next time… I may tell you a little
about our “courtship”, or I may go straight to when we bought our first plane… If any of you have any questions about anything,
or have any preferences as to what I tell you about next, just let me know.
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